i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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