Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
