Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
