i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
