Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
are you so shy because you have an std?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
