Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
But theres a keg here and me gusta
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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