Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize