I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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