I can feel you judging me through the phone.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
NoShamevember. You game?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
