How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
