Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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