And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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