maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
