he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
