Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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