In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
