My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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