Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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