Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I lost the right to judge tonight
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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