I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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