I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
