I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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