So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
