We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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