is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
