Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
