Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
