May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize