no, he came in my armpit
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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