Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
