I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
