its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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