i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
