I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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