Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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