i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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