I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Randomize
