She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
