so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
