Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
