if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
