You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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