if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
