I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Boobs are out for the taking
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
