all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
