He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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