Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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