Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
