But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
