How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
