i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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