so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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