Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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