Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
