that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Welp...herpes.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
