so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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