I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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