There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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