I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
