Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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