I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize