Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
